Little Girl

She stands fuming in the hallway, head cocked to one side and her hands angrily on her hips. Her tiny feet are engulfed by my oversized high-heeled shoes she is playing with. She is on the verge of blowing up or worse yet, crying.

Does she know how absolutely adorable she is?

I stifle back the laughter as I giggle to myself and try to be the adult figure I’m supposed to be and tell her to pick up her toys. Begrudgingly she concedes, head held low, whining profusely as if what I have just told her is going to be her ultimate death. She tells me that she doesn’t like me anymore and part of my heart sinks into my stomach.

I get over it.

She picks up one toy at a time despite having full use of arms, mouth and armpits. It’s painstakingly slow but I resist the best I can from doing it for her. I can’t help it and pick up a set of high-heeled shoes she missed under a blanket. As I put them away, her whining fades and I hear the reminiscent of her playing just minutes before.

*Clip-clop* *Clip-clop* *CLIP-CLOP* *CLIP-CLOP* *CLIPPITYCLOP* *CLIPPITYCLOPPITYCLOP*

She plays with my shoes all the time pretending she is the Queen of the world or better yet – a mother. They are strewn all over the house most days when I return home after a long day at work. I can’t help but feel warm all over and nothing can stop the smirk that creeps across my face knowing that she missed me.

Does she know what she means to me?

The toys are put away finally and I tell her what a great job she has done. She is proud of her accomplishment and so am I. She is over her feelings of dislike of me and we are best friends again as she grabs my hand to walk down the condo’s short hallway. I sit on the couch and she sits next to me snuggling into my arm for the first time in a year without hesitation.

Without hesitation…

*smiling*

Just testing things out....

I’ve got this new job and things can get hectic and when I say hectic – I mean, chaos x’s hell on earth x’s your worst nightmare. It’s gearing up to be even worse then hectic this week and I’m totally not looking forward to it.

At all.

Movie Action

The other night I watched An Inconvenient Truth. I knew there was a problem but I guess I didn't realize just how serious it is.

Woah.

This movie is seriously worth your time.


Go to Climate Crisis.net to see what you can do to help change the world.

1957 Chevy Belair.

It's the inspiration for the color changes on the site.

I totally want one and if anyone out there is willing to just give me one - I'll take it.

For real.

Truth

Take time to accept responsibility. Your life is exactly that - It's your life. It is created by you

She's Back!

Well, it's been a while folks. I mean, it's probable that most of you readers have long gone in the vast world of the internet. There are always things to take the attention off of this blog - that is for sure and I'm ok with that.

I have been busy.

Not just busy, but BUSY. My job is crazy. So crazy that I'm working out of my work's parking lot at 8:30 at night on a Sunday just to get jobs done. (long story) I have a laptop now that is attached to my hip and I can't remember the last time that I was 'bored' at work.

I have a live in family now. Remember that dude that I was dating that had a daughter that liked me a whole lot? Well, he still does and they are still around. It's a complete and absolute change for me. My life. My future.

I have lost a total of 80 pounds. I also cut off the majority of my hair and dyed it black and purple just for the fun of it. I'm thinking of getting a nose ring next but I'm still pretty much a chicken when it comes right down to it.

Everything is different.

My weight.
My hair.
My job.
My social life.
My romantic life.
My parental status.

Who am I anymore? If you knew me before... well, things are different now. I'm different.

Everything I have known for the last 12 years has changed. It's hard to get a grasp on everything at times and I wonder if I will ever get it. I suppose I'll figure it out in time.

In the meantime, it's about time I started writing again. Not sure what my focus will be but I do have some ideas that I want to share with you in time. I hope everyone is doing well and hopefully you will be back to read me once again...

OK... So I changed my mind.....

So, remember when I said I had a job downtown and I would have to be riding the bus? Well, what I didn't tell you that even though I accepted a job downtown I was still interviewing with a company that was a 1/2 mile from my home.

Turns out that this company liked me and wanted me to work for them too. After about 2 hours deliberation, I decided that the job closer to home would be the best bet being it was more suited for the industry I am in. (I took the job downtown but it wasn't doing what I wanted) However, that sounds great right but I had to turn down the other job I already accepted.

(Talk about a phone call you don't wanna make....)

Eventually, I got up enough guts to make the dreaded phone call and it's official; I do have a job. I am gonna make more money than I was prior to being laid off and I am able to wear JEANS if I want!!

YUP. YOU HEARD ME...

Jeans. GLORIOUS JEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dancing around*

Not just on 'Casual Friday's' but EVERY. Single. Lingle. DAY!

Oh yeah.... being this company I'm gonna work for is a corporate headquarters for a retail woman's clothing store I get 50% off their clothing.

50% OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since I have lost a total of 80lbs in the last year and NOTHING fits me, this discount will serve me well.

Seriously, I'm totally fricken lucky.

WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Working Again?

OK, so I'm alive and I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update you but I have been busy and my mind has been no where near telling the world how icky it is to be jobless.

Well, one can only assume that because I am writing again that may mean I have a job. If you have assumed this - you are correct. I do have a job. I have accepted a position at a marketing firm located in the heart of downtown Minneapolis. I start next week if all goes well.

Crappy thing is that I have to start taking the bus. That means an hour there and an hour back. I drive to the park and ride, hop on a bus and walk a few blocks to get there. That is - all before 8am in the morning.

Yippee. I'm so glad to be working again. (note the sarcasm?)

Anyway, I will be writing more often in the next few weeks but I'm trying to relax finally now that I don't have to worry about how I'm gonna pay my mortgage next month. I wish I would have worried less, played more and visited friends oftener because now it's back to the grind in less than a few days.

I suppose had I not worried my ass off, actually slept through the night and not looked for a job non-stop I wouldn't have a job right now huh?

Who knows....

Yes. I'm alive.

I have been busy with the job hunt, updating my condo and spending time with two of the most important people in my life; my man and his daughter. I can't say that I'm sorry that I have the extra time. We have had a wonderful holiday season and have become closer than I have ever been with anyone.

The last month has been different to say the least. Yes, I am still without a job however, I do have some promising opportunities that I'm hoping work out for me. Only time will tell and I will update you as soon as I know something.

Linky Link

Look at my striped shirt!

Star Wars Kid


Looks like I have nothing but time...

Huh?

Well, this is the first morning of my life that I had absolutely no where to be in my working career.

I slept in today until I got a phone call asking to go to lunch with the girls from work. I can't face them. I miss them already and I can't even imagine what we could possibly talk about over lunch that would make me feel better.

People don't know what to say. I never did when it happened to other people. Unless they have a paycheck and medical benefits in their pocket, I really don't want to see or talk to anyone.

I realize that this is fates way of pushing me forward to do the things I truly want to do but it's premature. I'm not ready and I need health insurance. I mean, yes, I have the time to paint, finish my house, write and whatever else I wanna do but I need a job.

I always have a job.

Looking for a job is my job. I'm could start selling my artwork on EBAY? I don't know what else to do because at this point, I need all the extra cash I can pile up even if I'm eligible for unemployment. It won't be enough to keep this condo and I've worked too hard all my life to lose all of this now.

It's Christmas in 24 days and I have nothing to give my nieces and nephew. I mean, I have some stuff already because I tend to buy throughout the year but not what they really want. I mean, M's B-day is in 12 days.

Seven other people got cut yesterday. Well, four people got laid off and three people got their job hours cut or their position was reallocated to doing something else. This was the fourth or fifth round of lay-off's since I have been there.

I guess my number came up.

Fate.

I lost my job today due to budget cuts. I've never not had a job before. Well, at least since I was 13 years old that is. I'm not sure what to do with myself and it's only been a few hours.

This is the first day of the rest of my life.

I'm Back.

I’ve got a million things on my mind lately and no where to spill my guts. I suppose that is what happens when I stop writing. All my ideas and thoughts get jumbled in my head with no where to go.

It’s confusing at times.

Not that I’m easily confused. Well, ok, maybe I am but seriously, it’s just easier to type than it is to talk at times. I never seem to say what I really mean and things come out all distorted. Nerves maybe? Whatever it is, I like to write.

I have been busy. Busy with life and the holidays. I haven’t been to Weight Watchers in over a week and I fear the absolute worst because I have been naughty; very naughty.

I’m sure that I haven’t gained 10 pounds or nothing serious like that but I’m on my way and I need to figure something out before I lose this battle. I need to keep the momentum going.

I have been blading like a MOFO and that is no lie. Last week I skated 32 miles in 3 days. This week I have only done 8 miles in 1 day but I have another day to catch up. I’m training for two full marathons this year and I think I will be able to do it no problem. I hope.

So there you have it. The update you have all been clicking back here to find and my fingers have been itching to type. There is more to tell but it must be saved for another time. I’m tired and must work now. It’s what they pay me to do and stuff…

ENFJ"Persuader".Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best thatm they can be. 2.5 of total population.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 60% Stability 46% Orderliness 53% Accommodation 56% Interdependence 36% Intellectual 43% Mystical 56% Artistic 83% Religious 43% Hedonism 16% Materialism 36% Narcissism 56% Adventurousness 36% Work ethic 43% Self absorbed 50% Conflict seeking 43% Need to dominate 50% Romantic 63% Avoidant 30% Anti-authority 50% Wealth 36% Dependency 30% Change averse 43% Cautiousness 63% Individuality 50% Sexuality 76% Peter pan complex 50% Physical security 90% Physical Fitness 57% Histrionic 50% Paranoia 56% Vanity 43% Hypersensitivity 56% Female cliche 43%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Alien Wedding

Tom promised to provide "clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat" and Katie was told that "young men are free and may forget" their promises...

Ok… like, whatever! What the frakk?!! “Young men are free and may forget” That is part of a wedding vow??!!??! Isn’t that just a bunch of crap in your corn flakes!

RUN KATIE! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!

WHAT THE FRAKK???

Leave it to this moron to get me to break my silence.Screw the law books in his instance and hang the murdering cocky fool.

I’m appalled!!!!!

What can anyone say about this absolute atrocious revelation? Seriously?! I mean, it’s not like we didn’t already know the slimy bastard killed his wife and her boyfriend but he has to come on national television and tell the world how he did it??? Not to mention put it in writing and make money off of it?

My condolences go out to the families of the victims. I can’t imagine the pain this man is putting them through. Can you imagine being his kids? Hey kids, listen up – here’s how I killed ….errrrr would have killed your mother if I had done it.

!!!!

Get a rope...

Thoughts

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.


~Anonymous~

The End?

Yesterday, something extraordinary happened. Although feeling as sick as I do the last few days, it made me forget for a while how crappy I truly feel.

I had a post written about it. In fact, I was about to hit the "Publish Post" button to send it off for you readers but I didn't. For one of the very first time in my blogging career I decided that I didn't want anyone to know. It's mine and I want to keep it that way.

I have changed. My life has changed. Writing about my life doesn't seem so important anymore and having other people read about my life seems even less intriguing. In fact, sometimes I wonder why people like to read about it because honestly, to me, my life isn't all that spectacular. I'm just some chick up-nort here in Minnesota trying to find my way.

Like we all are.

I started this blog June 2002. That is nearly five years and it can be a rare thing in the blogging community. For some of you this blog has become part of your daily routine. It's a intricate part of mine as well (obviously). If I wasn't blogging I would be off in a dark corner journaling in an old torn up notebook with blisters and paper cuts on my fingers. However, because it is public, your comments and emails have given me a hand to hold in some of my darkest hours. I can't tell you how much that means to me.

I'm not sure what I want to do with this blog anymore. Maybe I will write about other things? Maybe I will post nothing? Maybe I will continue to do what I am with a twist? All I know is that at this moment, it no longer feels ok to post about my personal thoughts and my life.

It's possible I will lose readers. Maybe I will go crazy? Or perhaps, you will like it...

The Kiss Of All Kisses

Know the flick? If you don't, it's a shame you haven't seen it. The Princess Bride is probably one of the best flicks of all time. Well, that and some other ones...

This morning, I can't get this scene out of my head. It's the final kiss. The one where afterwards they live happily ever after.

*sigh*

Sore Throat?!?!

My throat is sore. Like, bad.

I’m fading fast. I need to blast myself with tons of fluids and hopefully this is just a fluke.

It’s all in my head. It’s all in my head…

Just Incase You Thought I Changed My Mind...

I am the same person that I was 74 days ago. I still want the same things. The only difference is that I want those things with one particular person and I don’t see it changing.

Let it go.

Reflections

When you look in the mirror what is it that you see? Are you who you thought you would be?

How far have you come in your life? How far do you need to go?

When will you stop?

Despite having traveled far from where you were do people still see you at your original destination? Do they know where you have been? Have you let them see?

Perhaps it’s time to make a change.

Who Loves Ya?!?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEENIE!!!!

You couldn’t be a day over 29!

*HUGS*

MORE HALLOWEEN PICS

Enjoy...

YEEEE HAWWW!!!!!!!!!

Go here and here to see my pictures from the 2006 Northshore Inline Marathon finish line. Here is my sister N as she was on her way to the finish. Can you tell it was raining and cold as all get out??

We have already signed up for the 2007 FULL marathon for next year. Not to mention that HELLO!?! ROLLERDOME OPENS TOMMORROW!!

I can’t wait!

Mastectomy Hospital Bill in Congress

If you know anyone who has had a mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards. Insurance companies are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient procedure. Let's give women the chance to recover properly in the hospital for 2 days after surgery.

Breast Cancer Hospitalization Bill - Important legislation for all women.

There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the "drive-through mastectomy" where women are forced to go home just a few hours after surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.

Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below. You need not give more than your name and zip code number.

http://www.lifetimetv.com/health/breast_mastectomy_pledge.html

Here It Is.

The potluck made me sick.

I feel horrible today.

I’m broke.

I’m having anxiety issues.

My tire needs to be filled every morning and every night.

I need a new car.

My job sucks.

My hopes of school are nearly dashed.

I have to wear a splint and get physical therapy on my jaw before I can have braces put on.

And most everyone thinks I’m better off single without ever having met my man.

Life is grand.

Rolaids & Regrets

I have successfully managed to eat myself into a coma. I’m hurting bad and I did it to myself. I couldn’t help it. I was a crazy weight watcher in a sea of yummy goodness.

I did restrain myself and that should be plenty of kudos for me but obviously I still ate too much. Some of the food I ate hasn’t passed my lips since June of this year and my stomach is protesting.

Angrily.

Two meatballs

Two Ravioli’s

1 scoop of Chili (w/ sour cream & cheese)

8 Tortilla chips with taco bean dip

1 cherry tomato

2 baby carrots

1 Table spoon of Taboule

½ Spoon of pasta salad

½ Spoon of Lasagna (that was cold and couldn’t finish)

1 bite of brownie

1 bite of the kitty litter cake (yes, I had to try it)

1 Ham and Turkey sandwich (2 inch by 3 inch)

3 Shrimp with cocktail sauce

1 ½ can of Fresca (Black cherry citrus) Soda

Holy frack.

We're Gonna Win...

Because we rock....

UPDATE:We totally did! Pizza Party here we come!

Halloween Potluck

The air is full of the smells of things I know I shouldn't be eating. Like, for instance, this kitty litter cake that I have taken a photo of above.

Yes folks, this is a cake that we are supposed to eat at some point today. The little turds? Well, those are melted and reshaped tootsie rolls. Doesn't that just look appetizing?

I simply can't wait to go off my weightwatchers program for this...NOT!

Tao Te Ching

The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It is content with the low places that people disdain.
Thus it is like the Tao.

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.

When you are content to be simply yourself
and don't compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.

So true.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Halloween Fun!

Here is K3 as the evil queen. Her man showed up as the evil king. It's too bad that I didn't get them together. In fact, I have many more pictures but I can't get them to upload to this thing and have been trying all day. Here a few to tie you over for a few hours while I work on getting the others posted.

K in her most scary Carrie look... I think she looked great as Carrie. What was funny is that when I showed up to her place she had the dress outside drenched in blood. Fake blood that is and I can only imagine what her neighbors must have thought...

N, J and Me enjoying the night's festivities. J was already feeling pretty crazy at this point. She was Jackie O and her boyfriend L went as JFK with half his head blown off. One of their friends showed up as the secret service dude. It was hilarious.

N was obviously a punkin. Yes, I said punkin instead of pumpkin because that is what she preferred. Of course I went as a gypsy barwench ren fest chick because simply that is the only costume I own and I wasn't about to spend anymore money on anything else. Especially being I have spent so much on the one I have now.

I know it's boring but you people will just have to deal.

Here C is a fallen angel from the movie Dogma. K is Carrie and again J is Jackie O. They were getting crazier as the night went one but being the good girl I am, I left early.

Seriously, I need my beauty sleep...

This is me prior to going out. The outfit in it's glory. Good news is that the leather bodice is too big for me, bad news is that the leather bodice is too big for me.

I spent a lot of money on this puppy and there is no way to make it any smaller. I had to double lace it just to wear it Saturday night. Looks like I won't have a costume for next year's ren fest at this point being the other outfit I have didn't fit me at all this year. I'm happy but it's sad too. Either way, the party was awesome and I'm sure I will be posting more pictures later.

Cool!!

Check this out!!

HALLOOOOWEEEEEEENNN!

More to come..... I'm getting more and more pictures as the minutes pass by.

I went to a halloween party with my friend K this weekend and...well, we had a good time.

Stay tuned...

Glazed and Dazed...

So much has happened in the last 24 hours that I’m a bit shell shocked. It’s not a bad thing folks. I’m a bit in awe and a lot perplexed but I’m happy. So much to think about…

WHAT NEXT?!

“I am announcing today the elimination of the VP of HR role within (THE COMPANY). This decision, while difficult, is based on my belief that a company of this size does not warrant an HR role at the VP level.”

GOOD LORD!

Looks like I need to stop looking at cars, school and braces and start hitting the pavement for a job.

Painful But Worth It

So I went to the orthodontist yesterday and got the dirt on how much the braces I desperately want are gonna set me back. My insurance doesn’t cover anything associated with them so it will have to come out of my pocket. I’m excited to get them but I have to see a speech therapist and some TMJ pain doctor person before they will do it. At least the speech thing can happen after I get the braces.

Something has to give at this point. I can’t buy a car, go to school and get braces. My finances can’t handle it. I can’t put off the braces thing being it’s gonna be a two year process (actually three years if I include the retainer stage) and I want to get it started as soon as possible. I mean, I have been waiting for this practically my entire life and I finally have a good down payment saved up for them.

I wanted to get the new Invisalign braces but my mouth is too screwed up and I will have a mouth full of metal after all. How lame is that?

Recent Me

This is a recent picture taken last night by one of my favorite little ladies. Yea, it's a bit fuzzy but you get the idea right?

We are playing 'mothers' and wearing dress up shoes. She picked out my shirt and shoes. Of course red and pink normally don't go together but I made an exception being the shoes are my ultimate favorite.

Don't mind the mess - us girls like to have a good time...

Today

It's cold out but it's beautiful.

The Other Shoe Just Dropped.

The director of our department just resigned. She will be here for another 30 days and then she will be gone. She doesn’t have another job. She just quit. No reason other than she needs a change in her life and doesn’t know where she wants to go with her career.

They are dropping like flies….

Weight Watchers Halloween Candy PTS. (Fun Size)

Milky Way (2) Fib = 0 Cal = 180 Fat = 7 Points =4

Hershey Bar (2) Fib = 0 Cal = 190 Fat = 11 Points =5

3 Musketeers (2 bars) Fib = 1 Cal = 140 Fat = 4.5 Points =3

Snickers (2) Fib = 1 Cal = 140 Fat = 10 Points = 4

Kit Kat (1, 2 piece) Fib = 0 Cal = 80 Fat = 4 Points =2

Peanut M&M's (1 pkg) Fib = 1 Cal = 110 Fat = 5 Points =3

Baby Ruth Fib = 0 Cal = 130 Fat = 6 Points =3

Oh Henry! (1) Fib = 0 Cal = 120 Fat = 5 Points = 3

Reese's Sticks (1 piece) Fib = 0 Cal = 90 Fat = 5 Points = 2

Butterfinger -1 Fib = 0 Cal = 100 Fat = 4 Points = 2

Hershey Kisses (9) Fib = 0 Cal = 230 Fat = 13 Points =6

Tootsie Roll Midgees-6 Fib = 0 Cal = 160 Fat = 3 Points = 3

Goobers (3 bags) Fib = 0 Cal = 250 Fat = 15 Points = 6

100 Grand (2) Fib = 0 Cal = 190 Fat = 8 Points = 4

Reese's PB cup miniatures (5) Fib = 0 Cal = 210 Fat = 12 Points = 5

M & M's Plain (1 pkg) Fib= 0 Cal = 100 Fat = 4.5 Points = 2

Raisinets (3 bags) Fib = 2 Cal = 200 Fat = 8 Points =4

Reese's PB Cups (1) Fib= 0 Cal = 90 Fat = 5 Points = 2

Milk Duds(4 boxes) Fib = 0 Cal = 160 Fat = 6 Points =4

Nestle Crunch (4 bars) Fib = 0 Cal = 200 Fat = 10 Points = 5

Candy Corn(20 pieces) Fib = 0 Cal = 140 Fat = 0 Points = 3

Tootsie Pop (1) Fib = 0 Cal = 60 Fat = 0 Points = 1

Skittles (2 pks) Fib = 0 Cal = 160 Fat = 1.5 Points =3

Jolly Rancher Mini Stix (1) Fib = 0 Cal = 35 Fat = 0 Points = 1

Jujyfruits (3 boxes) Fib = 0 Cal = 110 Fat = 0 Points = 2

Sweetarts (2 rolls) Fib = 0 Cal = 50 Fat = 0 Points = 1

Spree (2 rolls) Fib = 0 Cal = 60 Fat = 0 Points = 1

Starburst (8 chews) Fib = 0 Cal = 160 Fat = 3.5 Points = 3

Krackel Fib = 0 Cal = 45 Fat = 2.5 Points = 1

Hot Tamales (2 pkgs) Fib = 0 Cal = 150 Fat = 0 Points =3

"Bye Bye, Little Lady...."

I hate the way it looks but so far the Prius is better than the Civic Hybrid. Why? I can put the seats down in the Prius and I can’t in the Civic. However I don’t care for the Prius hatchback trunk.

Either way, I have to test drive the Prius again with a salesmen that will actually help answer my questions. I went to the Coon Rapids Toyota dealership and felt like I was a plague that walked in the door. Despite all of the 13 or so salesmen standing around and the fact that I had scheduled an appointment for a test drive – I was ignored and had to continually ask for help over and over again. They were condescending and obviously didn’t take me seriously being a woman. They asked when my Spouse was joining me!! I’m sorry, what decade are we in???? If they had the last Prius on earth I wouldn’t buy from them.

Fricken Jerks!

Just for the record, Honda Hopkins was more the courteous to me and treated me wonderfully. It was like night and day! It’s just too bad those battery packs are in the rear seat…

I NEED a new car.

4 New tires for my truck $565.00

Replace 02 Sensor ??

Replace Knock Sensor ??

Replace Running Boards $1,000 +

OR I can buy a new car. Like, I could get a Hybrid or something super cool…. Yea. Something like that.

R.I.P

Project Runway

Jerks.

Just Think

If you were blind you wouldn’t see the sunset.

If you were deaf you wouldn’t hear the whisper of “I love you.”

Kinda cool that we have what we do, huh?

THINGS I NEED TO DO

Get braces

Buy a new car (preferably a Toyota Camry – Hybrid)

Enroll in school for Interactive Media Design

Lose 45 more pounds

Clean my garage (organize and purge tools)

Finish my bottle cap art project

Start working on Christmas gifts

Clean my truck

Tear down wallpaper in den

Paint den

Hang shelves in den

Paint closet door

Hang closet door

Master World of Warcraft

Remodel bathroom

Remodel bedroom

I'm DOOMED!

Folks, recently I have been introduced to the World Of Warcraft. Yes, it’s an online interactive game where you kill beasts and gather items for quests that you must accomplish.

I’ll admit it sounds goofy however, I also must admit that I’m seriously addicted to the game. I love it. What’s the problem right? Well, I can’t seem to keep track of time when I’m playing and waaa-laaa it’s midnight before I know it.

I’m tired.

I’m so tired.

Do they have a self help group for this kind of thing? I mean, I need help possibly….

He he he

You're OUT!

Ok.

My job is safe but the president of the company was just axed and replaced with our head sales dude.

Oh my.

Pray For Me.

Company of 200

Two lay offs in past 6 months

Some upper management flying the coup the past 6 months.

Two of our three lawyers have put in their notice.

Email - Cancellation of quarterly meeting scheduled in 1 week.

½ hour later received email - Large company meeting. 1:00pm Mandatory attendance.

Rumors flying….

Dream Land? La-La-Land?

Where ever I have been the last two months (almost) has been no less than wonderful. I mean, I have to admit, I have driven some of you batty with my anxieties over the boyfriend man thing. I don’t cope well when it comes to the uncertain matters of the heart. Never have.

Despite my anxieties, I’m happy. He makes me feel extraordinary - beautiful inside and out.

I’m so happy that at times, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. I have been so miserable with this aspect of my life for so long that I find myself waiting for it to all be taken away. Irrational fear? Possibly.

Lately however, calm has filled my heart and I have found a peace that I have never felt before. The obstacles that, in the past, would have had me running away after the first date years ago have been met with uncharacteristic patience and understanding from me.

It’s amazing how each and every step I have taken in my lifetime has led me directly into this euphoric dance. Everything fits and I can’t wait to see where this path will lead me.

A Girl After My Heart...

Clip-clop. Clip-clop. Clip-clop.

Clip-clop.

Here, you wear these one’s and I’ll wear these, ok?

OK.

Clip-clop. Clip-clop. Clip-clop.

*sigh*

Changes

If I had a dollar for every change a client or co-worker changed in my process I would be a frakkin quad-billionaire.

I have said this before but this is only because it’s true.

I hate this job.

Let It Snow

You can't really see it clearly but that haze is snow and a lot of it. Winter in Minnesota has begun.

Crap.

Mother Nature Art

This morning the sunrise was breathtaking.

Beautiful.

CNN ALERT

-- A small plane has crashed into a building in New York City. No further details immediately available.

HOLY.

FRAKKIN.

CRAP.

North Korea threatens war against U.S.

This is really starting to freak me out. I mean, I usually don’t talk about politics or world affairs on this blog simply because this is not somewhere I want people to come and get all tense, freaked out or angry. I’d like to think, as well as my readers, of my blog-o-sphere world as a happy place.

That being said, it still freaks me out. At times I think, we, as a nation stick our nose where it doesn’t belong and at other times I feel we don’t do enough. I’m undecided at this point where I stand on this issue other than the fact that I don’t want to even think about a possible nuclear attack. It’s so overwhelming to me that it makes me physically ill when I let myself think about it.

Why can’t we just all get along???

Sing-a-long

It’s raining, it’s pouring…

The old man is…

Wait. That’s snow?

Weigh - In

I’m going to Weight Watchers hell tonight and I know it.

I had a breakfast burrito this morning and it’s gonna put me over the edge. Like, it doesn’t matter that I was at my sisters this past weekend eating French silk & Pumpkin pie, chocolate candy, chips & dip, veggies & dip, beef stew, 7-layer salad, scrambled eggs, bagels, jello, wine and venison sausage.

It will have nothing to do with that.

His Third Interview

…Is at 2:00pm today.

Send happy thoughts to my man so he gets this job he is hoping for…

I’m so nervous for him I could just spit. Personally, I think the dude has it in the bag. I just hate waiting to hear what happened. It hasn’t even happened yet and I’m freaking out.

Dang…

MY BABIES!!!!

You all have to agree that is has been a while since I've gushed about my babies. That's because it has been forever. I mean, seriously, it has been since the whole garage sale thingy since I've really given them their own post. Yes, this post was of them getting all grundgy but I wasn't there. Yeah and maybe this post was about Princess E but it was only really about her. Then there were these posts about when Mark and I went up to work on the jeep and finish the mural but that really doesn't count either.

Why?

Well, because - it's just the way it is and this gives me another excuse to yap about them. I feel like time is slipping away from me. I remember the first day I held M in my arms. She was so little; so tiny. My entire world changed that day.

Then E was born and all hell broke loose having two little rug rats to fawn over. Soon D was out and about and little L was close behind. I have never been the same since and frankly, couldn't imagine my life without them in it.

Look at M. She is growing up. She is no longer a little girl but a young woman and there are so many things I'm not ready for her to have to face.

Boyfriends, jobs, money, alcohol, drugs, sex, liars, cheaters, rock & roll, life, cars, crazy teenage nights when they think they know everything, banks, credit reports, loans, friends that aren't really friends, traffic, living on her own, college....

UGH! It's different when they are little. I mean, you think about these kind of things but you know it's so far off that you don't bother. Yes, she is 11 but people, before you know it she is gonna be 16 and then 18 and heaven forbid 21!

So she is eating breakfast right? You would think I'd be all like, "Oh isn't she cute?" and stuff but NO. I'm worried about whether or not she is gonna be diligent about her 401K and if she will make smart decisions when her friends want to cause havoc on prom night and drive drunk or something even worse!

It's possible I need therapy.Despite my freaking out, you have to admit - she is cute. They all are.

Right after breakfast, I found myself outside playing with the kids in a game of around the world.

I won.

Not that I really tried to win but it just happened after like, an hour of them fighting over who's turn it was. Then we played some 3 on 2 basketball and being I had D and little L on my team, we spent most of our time just trying to catch the ball when we threw it to each other. M and E smoked us a few times.

We decided, (well, more like I did) that we needed to do something else that wasn't so NBA like and we headed down to the swing set.

Soon after, B & J joined us and we all went for a walk in the woods along the lake shore. The weather was breath taking and we couldn't have asked for a better day.

N and L finally met up with us and we decided it was time to take some pictures. Obviously, I took some of my own with my crappy camera phone as you can see here.

I tried.
Here you can see D using a big stick he found in the woods to plow the leaves around on the path. He is seriously one heck of a plower, people.

Yes, you can still see leaves all over behind his plow but that is only because they were falling so fast.... Well, they were....

kinda...

Here is M being super cool in their fort. Well, at least what they call their fort.
So cool....
M is goofing off as always and little L is being all diva-fied for me in the grey and red coat. (she likes red as much as I do) Isn't she growing up super fast? I can't even believe she is 7 already!

A SECOND GRADER EVEN!

It's too bad that E wasn't around while we were snapping the pictures because I didn't get her in the last pictures but luckily she was in the earlier ones.

Doesn't D look like a little man dude? Ahhhh... sooo precious...

So there you have it folks! I know some of you haven't seen the kids for a while in person so hopefully this helps bridge the gap.

I miss them already...

Remodeling

It has been brought to my attention that my email updates have not been going out like they are supposed to. I’m not sure why this is happening but I’m trying to fix it.

Also, a few of you have mentioned that the new colors are hard to read so I will be working on changing things up a bit.

Stay tuned my friends…

Battle Star Galactica

I can't believe how different the show is from last season. I mean, they are really taking it places. I love how each story line with each person is almost morbid but not really. It's doomsday. Armageddon.

The way they left this episode is painful. I mean, can I even handle another week of not knowing who is being killed? All those people or chiefs wife? What about the insurgent meeting????

The whole Starbuck baby thing is cruel. I mean, they are brainwashing her ya know? It's so hard to watch. Using the love of a child to break her? UGH!

I totally believe that Helen would turn on the XO but to frakk a cylon and NOT think it was gonna turn out for the worse? I mean, is she really that dumb? Guess so.

I can't believe Lee (Apollo) is such a schmuck now. I mean, he was a schmuck before but now, he is a putz and I hate it. He needs to shape up or ship out! He seems cowardly and I H A T E that.

Holy frakk, people. It's just too much.

BATTLE STAR GALACTICA!!!!!!!!!

Check this out!!

Tonight season three starts of one of the most frakkin' awesomest shows of the entire history of the frakkin' planet.

I can't get enough of it. I have rented (from Netflix) seasons 1 - 2.5 to get ready for tonight and I couldn't be happier.

I totally dig these characters. I think they rock however Chief is my favorite.

This cylon blonde crazy lady can go to hell. I hate her and she can take her poodle with her. He is a scum suckin' loser and he stinks like cow dung.

What is this "I surrender" crap anyway??? What the hell is that?! You do what you always do and that is...

FIGHT THEM UNTIL YOU CAN'T!

Go to hell cylon lover man.

Ok, so I hate Sharon because A) she is a frakkin' cylon - duh!?, B) She's pretty and C) she screwed over my sexy chief man and he doesn't deserve that crap from anyone. Especially some cylon 'ho.

Ya - you heard me. 'HO.

Everyone must watch it tonight!!!!!!!!!

Holy Window Cleaner Dude

We are just minding our own business and all of a sudden, like spiderman, this dude just pops up near the window.

We are on the 6th floor so seeing a dude outside your window isn't something you expect to see. Talk about freaking someone out!

Today is a crazy day.

Work Time Antics

Remember when this happened?

Well, this dude has made his move again except this time it was to K-2 in the elevator a few days ago. She tossed the card in the waste basket but I fished it out and kept it so I could share with you all the craziness of what the card said.

“Hello and good day to you. If you are not in a relationship could I treat you to a coffee shop sometime? I DO NOT desire to have many women at one time, but ONLY ONE woman to love and cherish. To treat her like a queen and to be loved by her. I am loving, giving, caring and kind. Have a wonderful day and God bless you.”

Stupid Dude

Cell ###-###-####

Home ###-###-####

Of course, mind you, that I didn’t just stop there. I mean, what kind of person would I be if I didn’t take it upon myself to do this guy a favor right? Well, with some help from K, (because really, she is behind all my antics most of the time) we made our way down to the lobby of the building and placed Mr. Loverman’s card on the directory so that everyone could see it. However, prior to us doing that we were sure to make copies of the card at 200% so we could have a souvenir.

I’m sure the card has been taken down by now but it was fun while it lasted. Hopefully, Mr. Loverman will get some serious action from the limited time it was advertised…

I'm A Thief.

K and I went to Don Pablo’s today and we had ourselves some tasty lunch. On the way out when we were packing our to-go boxes one of the bean bowls happened to end up in my box. K told me that it would make a great salsa bowl and although I have never done anything like this before – I agreed. I took it.

My heart was pounding and I was sure I was gonna get caught but I didn’t. I swear I’m going to hell and could possibly end up in jail by posting this. I mean, I’m a criminal, people; a hardened criminal.

I’m not to be trusted any longer and you should read this blog at your own risk.

HOLY FRACKEN CRAP!!!

Congratulations Tameka & Julie!

Recently, Julie was awarded another two year visa to remain in the country of her partner Tameka. I can’t be happier for the both of you!!! How absolutely WONDERFUL!

I wish you both well and can’t wait to see you in January!

Intuition

Something that I thought a year ago in my mind has come to fruition with two acquaintances of mine.  I mean, I knew intuitively something would happen between them even though she was happily married (or so it seemed) and he wasn’t dating anyone and wasn’t trying to.

Recently, she is divorced and he got bit by the love bug and something happened.  I’m excited that something I brushed off as me being absolutely nuts for thinking – happened.

Validation is wonderful. It truly is.

Weird

Last night, K and I met K-2’s boyfriend from Iraq last night.  I’m not sure what I think of it.

I went tanning yesterday with K over lunch and I’m burnt.  Fried and lobsterized.  I itch.

I miss my man more than usual today.  I’m such a sap.

Work has been crazy and it’s only 10am.  I’m getting a lot done despite what you may think by writing this email to my blog.

I’m gonna go blading on the greenway possibly if the weather stays nice.  I’m not all that excited about it.

I’m hungry. I wanna eat and I won’t let myself.

All these school shootings worry me. The world is crazy and my babies are so young…

I want Michael to win on Project Runway.  He’s a nice guy.

My desk is full of papers and file folders that need attention.  I gotta get.

9 People

Today their lives have been placed on another path.

Layoffs ...again

If I have ever wondered if I should start looking for another job I think the answer has been shouted loud and clear.  Today they had another lay off. 

Fortunately it did not affect my department however; it was a significant cut in the business.  There were at least three people that I know of and apparently a team of people downstairs. 

We are having a meeting shortly to find out all the stuff but I think my idea about school and finding another career has just been sold in my head.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Work sucks rocks today. 

 

Like, seriously.

THE BIRDS ARE LEAVING THE BUILDING!

YESSSSsssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's Going ON?!

I did 8 miles in 55 minutes last night on the greenway with my younger sister N.  It was great!  We talked and gossiped and huffed and puffed.

I was sprinting on the last mile which is simply something I have never ever done in my skating career. 

I passed my sister – multiple times. I have never done this.

I sprinted during the last miles!

Holy Fracken CRAP!

 

What’s happening?

MOM?

Come get those frackin’ birds!

 

I MEAN IT!

Ouch.

I bought these shoes (along with another pair)on Friday when my skating plans were rained out. I can only wear these shoes a few more days before the weather turns cold again. Well, at least I'm breaking them in prior to next spring right?

People, it's only nine something in the morning and I'm forming blisters.

Stop the madness!!

The First Day....

A special someone is starting preschool today. Let's all think happy thoughts so it goes well for her....

How exciting!

The Last Huzzah....

The festival's season is over and it was time to say goodbye to everyone. I had a great time working at the fest this year and I think it was wise to only work the three days I did (well, plus the babysitting of little B it was four days). It didn't feel like a chore and it was very fun.

I finally got this picture from Mark from earlier in the season (Sept 9th) and I wanted to show you little B an I. We were hanging out at the tent on and off on the weekend I babysat her.

Isn't she just super precious???? And the hug? Totally her idea which always makes me melt. Not to mention that I cried a little when she wanted to make a wax mold of us holding hands. It was so touching...

We had a wonderful time that day. I will remember it always.

(I'm such a sap...)


While working at fest, people I know tend to stop by the tent and I LOVE that! This past weekend I ran into few friends of mine. Here is a picture of Brad and Jodi! I was shocked to see them walking in front of me as I was coming back from a food run for Mark.

Remember when I had to play my accordion for Maryls and Ronald? (scroll down to May 22nd) Well, Brad is one of their sons. Cool huh?

We chatted for a while and I found out that they were going to the Feast of Fantasy (or should I say the Drinks of Fantasy?) . Later on they came back to visit me and the feast had done it's job and they were feeling fantastic.

he he he

I'm glad they had a good time and it was wonderful to see them again - as always.

Another friend of mine stopped by as well and many of you know him as FreAkWerKs from this blog's comments. He is a free-lance photographer and is trying to grow his business. He took this picture of co-worker Jessica and I and the one below of Mark and I working at LaJeanne's tent.

You have to admit that they are much better quality photo's than my crappy ones. If anyone is interested in getting some photo's taken - he's your guy!

Can you believe that I'm not 1,094 pounds anymore? Isn't that super awesome?

Here are one of the rare photo's of Mark and I together. At least the picture was taken during a truce in one of our many spats throughout the day.

he he he

It's too bad LaJeanne, Heather & Curt were so busy on Saturday or I could have gotten a photo with them as well.

After hours, Heather and I hung out to watch the award ceremonies for the workers. (the ones that get paid - her being one of them) When the festivities were over we ran into this dude holding vials of alcohol concoctions he had made up.

He was so kind to let us try a sample of some of them. The man had some serious talents in the alcohol arena but sadly I had to drive home yet and could only sip my samples....

Obviously Mark had plenty of time to sample the dudes potions and proof is evident here with his choice of retro style 80's shredded skin tight jeans to wear for the evening.

I realize that some chicks totally dig this style of attire (mainly the harem he had surrounding him this night) but I am not one of them. Somehow, this outfit just doesn't match with the 'period' we are in...

Oh Mark... It is 2006 right? he he he

We soon left Mark to his possee of ladies and we headed out for some dinner at Perkins while trying to warm up from the cold night air. It was a great way to catch up with Heather and we had a great time.

I'm not sure if I will work next year but we will see what the future brings. Anything could happen....

WOW

Fall blade
6.8 miles
35 minutes


Fall walk
4.5 miles
1 hour 45 minutes



Wonderful weather. Simply wonderful.

He's A Keeper

Me: I'm getting my hair done and getting some of my grey covered. Have you noticed how much grey hair I have?

Him: No, I'm too busy looking in your eyes....


Silver tongue? Either way, I think I'll keep him.

*sigh*

Exhausted.

Completely.