I'm SO Sad.

Last night I had to work late. I should have worked longer but I just can't anymore. I hate my job and I make very little money for the amount of hours I put in.

My relationship is no longer a relationship. In fact, I couldn't tell you what it is. I'm truly confused about where I stand with it. My house is a disaster and boxes are everywhere waiting to be put away. Furniture needs to be moved out but nothing is done.

I've gained 22 pounds since this "break up" started back before the Holiday season.

I'm out of touch with my friends because my relationship occupied so much of my time. I no longer have the desire to go out drinking, out to eat or even roller-blade most of the time.

I force myself to skate. My weight gain has impaired my skating ability. It's that or I'm getting very sick and need to see the doctor. I can't breathe and my body refuses to allow me to keep up with others.

I need to see a doctor but I realize that it will take me close to 5-6 visit and a multitude of test for them to tell me that they don't know what to tell me. Nearly all of the doctors I have ever dealt with have no personal responsibility about your health. They truly don't care like they should. The system is CRAP.

I hate (more like despise) what is going on with our political system, corporate America and our Medical/insurance systems. It's run by adult greedy children that have their own agenda's. At times I see no hope and feel like being a citizen of his country will eventually be the demise of me; all of us.


I'm tired. I'm unable to sleep. I can't sleep at night from the hot flashes that start at 7pm and last until 1-3am. On the weekend I wake up at 6 or 7am and can't sleep any longer - too much on my mind.

I'm anxious.
I'm overwhelmed.
Tired...