Sleep? What's That......

This past month I have had little to no sleep.
I rest.
I lounge.
I napped once but deep sleep?
No.

Usually, I lay in bed for hours waiting for my racing mind, hot flashes, night sweats and aching chest to subside so I can force myself to relax.

I'm being weened off the drug I was on in an effort to control my blood pressure. Tonight was the first night of the 1/2 dose. I'm either in pain from my body or the withdrawals of the drug.

Who knows?

What I do know is that I just couldn't lay down anymore. I feel like I'm wasting my life laying down attempting to sleep. Tomorrow is another doctor appointment and I'm so desperate for help to resolve this issue I'd try just about anything.

I'm so tired.

I haven't written much since I'm on my medical leave. You would think I would write more being I have so much time on my hands but honestly, my energy level has been non-existent and my mind hasn't been in the best of places.

I'm depressed I suppose. I mean, being sick isn't fun. Fighting with a body that isn't under your control is dissappointing and frustrating. You'd think I would be used to it by now but being sick like this is beyond what I have ever experianced.

Of course, I'm not miserable all of the time. I have happy moments but overall, I'm tired of the ho-hum of this and I have tried to spare you, my loyal faithful readers, the ho-hum of my mind throughout this calamity. Hence the lack of posting.

Perhaps it's time for me to watch more cartoons or something. They seem to make me laugh...