I want to go back to school

Advertising Design

Interior Design

Business

Marketing

The last 11 years of my life I have been in and out of major depressions, sick and/or in a transitional phase (remodeling) that didn’t allow me to seriously think about what I wanted to do with my life.  I have wanted to go back to school for a long while and have thought about it for the last two years but I knew I wasn’t ready to tackle work and school at the same time feeling the way I did.

The last year has been a pivotal one.

• I have joined Weight Watchers and have started losing weight.  This alone has helped tremendously in building some of my confidence back. I will always struggle but everyone does and life isn’t always meant to be easy.   
• I have slowly but surely built some very strong friendships to replace the ones I so painfully had to say goodbye to over the years. I can’t tell you how important it is knowing that someone cares about you – just because.  It’s a nice feeling that I wish I felt earlier in my life.
• Although depression is something I struggle with and have for years, I have some clarity.  The last 8-9 months have been important for me in this fight.  I feel as if the shackles have been taken off of my heart and my mind has been free to dream again. Hope is alive and well – at last.
• I have completed three inline skating half marathons this year which is something that fills my heart with joy every time I think about it. I mean, if I can put my mind to something like that I can do most anything right?
• I will be finishing my remodel of my home this winter and will have additional time to utilize. Plus, if I decide to go for interior design I will have a finished project to reference.

I’m not getting any younger and I although I’m good at what I do, it isn’t a passion of mine and never has been.  I needed to survive so I worked my way up the ladder but it was only because it was the only ladder there at the time.

I want to be able to do something that doesn’t feel like work.  I also worry that I don’t have a degree in anything.  I realize my work experience is extensive in my field but in my industry the niche I’m in is tiny and jobs are scarce.

I need something to fall back on if anything. I’m on my own and have been for many years and I am the only person I can fall back on if something goes wrong. However, don’t get me wrong people, I’m  hoping this changes for me in the future but I can’t rely on it, ya know?

So I have reached this point where I am able to write about it.  Today feels like a big day because of this.  I have thought about it for so long and I have talked with so many people regarding it but writing about it? 

Well, now I have to do something about it…