That Skinny Chick....

I have struggled with weight issues all my life. Like, the only time I have ever been considered thin is when I didn't eat and exercised close to 2 hours a day back in high school. When I say that I didn't eat - I mean it. I starved myself most of the time. I hated it.

The only other time that I have been close to normal weight is when I was sick for 12 months and couldn't eat more than a 1/2 cup a soup a day and rollerbladed nearly 12 miles a day. As soon as I felt better the weight came back.

Like always.

Last Saturday I had to meet with a nutritionist. I like to think that I know what food are good and bad for me but I have come to find out that I don't. I suppose it's obvious by the gobs of fat hanging from my bones but really, I don't have a grasp of what to eat, when and how much. After I talked to this chick I was seriously depressed and can honestly say that I was almost shell shocked.

I mean, I have heard this crap before from doctors when they were trying to manage my sodium intake to 1200mg a day but because it was so out of the world to try and follow I would give up within a week of trying. This nutritionist told me not to worry about that until I figure out how all the other stuff out first.

Thank God.

Everything I eat now has to be measured, weighed and written down in a daily diary. Can you even believe it??

Check this crap out!

A BANANA - high is potassium and something I mow down on almost daily basis (sometimes twice) is really two servings. Ok people but that is crazy. So what do you do with the other half of the banana? I mean, it will get mushy and brown if it isn't eaten. It's a FRICKEN BANANA - GOD MADE IT THAT WAY TO EAT ALL AT ONCE! It comes in it's only little case and everything! I'm perplexed.

A CAN OF POP - is two servings. What the hell? I mean, the fiz will go out of it if you let it sit there. How gross! Why not sell it in the one serving size? I'm supposed to drink cancer causing, seizure starting diet instead. (that is if I drink any at all because according to skinny chicks plan - I'm not supposed to) CRIPES ALMIGHTY!

MEAT PORTIONS - You are not supposed to eat any meat bigger than the size of the palm of your hand or equal to 4 to six ounces A DAY. Basically it's the size of a deck of playing cards - ARE YOU KIDDING?

NO Deep fried food
NO Canned foods
NO Boxed foods
NO Cheese
NO Fast Food
NO Regular Pop
NO Lemonade unless it's Crystal Lite.
NO Candy
NO Doughnuts, pastries, muffins, bagels of any kind unless purchased with nutritional info.
NO Restaurants unless nutritional info has been researched and all servings must be halved and boxed to go home.
NO Sugar cereal
NO Pop tarts
NO Cookies or cake without written permission from my doctor. (kidding)
NO Regular chocolate milk
NO Ice cream
NO Honey
NO Chips
NO Bologna, Salami, summer sausage or regular sausage (I don't think this women knows I'm German and I enjoy a good sausage....)


I could go on and on about what I can't eat but I'm sure in time I will come to terms with it. Maybe.

I hope.

I hate that skinny chick.