April 12th, 1997

I guess it's been a long time. I mean, I know it's been a few years but this year was the seventh. I think about him often. What is he up to? Is he ok? Is he alive? Does he think about me?

I know I shouldn't think about it or maybe even ever speak about it but I can't seem to get it out of my head. I suppose it started last November. Thinking about why it happened the way it did. Why did we both suffered so much? I mean, other than learning what I didn't want - what good did it do either of us?

I haven't seen or heard from him for 4 years. (that I know of) Is it wrong to wonder how he is? Or wonder what if? I mean, it's possible that the idea of even thinking about him is distructive for myself.

UGGH __ It's time I stop wondering and move on.....