Coming back from Vegas to deal with the whole Dave drama thing has blown me out of the water. Work is the craziest it's been in almost a year. This weekend is packed with the Renaissance Festival with Mark and the State Fair with Tom. I'm supposed to be at another bachlorette on Saturday but I'm already booked. I look around at my house that needs so much work and organization that I don't even know where to begin. I have so many thoughts in my head.....
I met someone last night. A complete stranger. We had a drink at the bar and we got to talking. Turns out he is in a band and has played guitar for many years. I let him know (almost reluctantly due to the reaction I've gotten in the past) that I play the accordion. He says I'm probably the most marketable musician out there right now because of how original the instrument is and the amount of talent that I have that comes with it. (I've played almost 20 years) I thought this guy was kidding. I mean, usually people just laugh at me - but this guy? He was so excited he wants to play with me and help me get into a band. It was great to hear. Honestly, even if this guy was just all talk, it warmed my heart and was exactly what I needed to hear. Funny how things happen for a reason sometime.
I don't know if any of you know this but I had a psychic reading done at the Renaissance Festival by LaJeanne. She is the lady I take appointments for when I work there on the weekends. I was very skeptical going in. I mean, really, who is truly all knowing? Well, other than THE BIG GIANT HEAD from 3rd Rock, I can't think of anyone.
She started the reading assuming that Mark and I were a couple. I asked about my relationship and she responds, "You mean about Mark?"
I'm like, "No, I mean about Dave."
Puzzled she asks, "Oh, so Mark and you...."
I interrupt, "...are just friends." -- kind of why we introduced ourselves that way..... DUH!?!
She replies, "So you have a boyfriend? A significant other?"
A little peeved and really skeptical now, I respond, "Yes, his name is Dave....."
Soooo, she starts her reading and I ask a few questions that I want to know. She tells me some information about Dave that was truly intriguing. After experiencing what I have this past week with him, LaJeanne was pretty accurate. She also mentioned that the last 4 years I have been setting boundaries for myself and doing more things for me than I have ever done before. <---**True** She mentioned that I was an artist and a gifted painter and needed to start selling my work. <----**True** She also told me that I have a gift of knowing things. A psychic ability if you will......interesting.
I have known about this ability since I was a girl but haven't really paid much attention to it until these last few years. She told me that I need to pay very close attention to it and start learning how to use it. I wasn't surprised about being told this but what I am surprised about is that she knew that I didn't listen to it -- didn't trust it. I just never listened to myself.....
Sometimes, I could even tell people exactly what they were doing and thinking at times when I'm not with them. ....but I NEVER LISTEN!! I am frustrated and a bit upset with myself. I mean, trusting other people is one thing but trusting yourself should be old hat ya know? .
Maybe the reason I don't listen is because I just don't want to be right. I mean, why are people so afraid to be themselves instead of pretending to be something they are not? People gossip, lie and cheat and call themselves good people. I see these people and wonder how they live with themselves. What is it about those qualities do they like? I assume it's to make them look better in the eyes of others. It's part of their own insecurities.....
I know there has to be someone out there that knows the meaning of truth. I've been searching for so long to find someone I can rely on to be there - that someone to put my faith in. You keep eluding me.
Please, find me because I'm done looking for you.......
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